Retelling 

Continuity within change refers to the idea that individuals maintain certain core traits, values, and patterns over time, even as people adapt or change behaviours in response to new circumstances (Hoffnung et al., 2022). This can be observed in periods across different stages of life, particularly in social interactions and connections that individuals experience (McAdams & Olson, 2009).

I believe that continuity within change is reflected in my personal experiences of navigating and understanding tall poppy syndrome in Australia as someone who moved internationally to Melbourne for university when entering adulthood. Tall poppy syndrome refers to a cultural tendency to be critical or dismissive of individuals who attain success, such as through fame or financial means (Peeters, 2004). The effects of this are detrimental, resulting in social isolation and avoidance (O’Neill et al., 2013). This said, navigating tall poppy syndrome has helped me explore how my understanding of my social needs has evolved despite my core values and beliefs remaining the same. 

This led me to consider Arnett’s (2000) theory of emerging adulthood as a framework to understand how this stage of life may have influenced my changing perspective, as I had to thoroughly explore my identity and values to make sense of my experiences and where I stand in them. Emerging adulthood refers to a period of life that is generally marked by transformation and exploration, during which individuals examine available possibilities and make lasting decisions that shape life paths and influence perspectives (Arnett, 2000). 

As such, this reflection will explore how my experiences of navigating tall poppy syndrome illustrate continuity within change during emerging adulthood, and how reflecting on these ideas together helps to redefine my personal understanding of development, informs the choices that I make, and allows me to build a stronger foundation for self-understanding.

Relating 

I originally moved to Melbourne as I was seeking a sense of safety, belonging, and connection as a queer person. During my past visits here as a tourist, I found Melbourne to feel open and supportive, where I could act more authentically compared to the conservative environment I grew up in. Initially, moving here allowed me to explore my queer identity in an honest and conducive way. I felt more seen when interacting and building friendships with locals compared to back home. This fostered a sense of belonging where I believed I had successfully integrated into my environment.

However, I started to feel restricted when I wanted to deepen my connections but was unable to. I tried various ways to do this, but they kept leading nowhere. Over time, I noticed that most of my friends were fairly passive, while others were performative. This left me confused and emotionally drained, questioning why this was happening. 

When I asked my friends about my experiences, they told me that it was likely due to tall poppy syndrome. Thinking about my experiences through this lens helped me make sense of my observations. I realised that the effect of tall poppy syndrome was more widespread than general definitions suggest, where standing out at all was to be avoided. This explained the passivity of my friends and why my proactive approach often failed, since deepening friendships required them to also stand out, which conflicted with the norms shaped by tall poppy syndrome. This redefined the way I perceived Melbourne’s social culture and formed the foundation for me to reflect on how my own needs and values fit into this environment.

Over my time in Melbourne, my understanding of connection has changed. Early on, I mainly looked for friends and belonging, without much awareness of my own needs or social dynamics. However, as I went through attempts to deepen connections, I started to realise that I needed people who were reciprocal, communicative, and emotionally mature, in order to avoid one sided and emotionally draining dynamics.

I believe that my fundamental need for authentic and mutual connection has been continually present, but how I understood it and attempted to build connections has evolved, illustrating continuity within change. My experience also reflects emerging adulthood, as I went about exploring possibilities to meet my needs, and questioning my assumptions, which eventually transformed how I perceived my environment and myself.

Through this, I came to understand that continuity within change during emerging adulthood is not simply about exploring and adapting to new circumstances. Rather, it is about intentionally deciding what parts of my identity and values I want to carry forward and what I can reshape to meet my needs. This required me to think deeply about what I stand for and what I need, especially as my social environment shifted and my understanding of myself evolved during this stage of my life. Based on this, I realised that this process does not materialise on its own, but a conscious decision to carry forward the values and connections that align with who I am. Continuity within change is not a passive process, but an active choice.

Reflecting 

Based on the new understanding I gained, I began to reflect on what this meant for how I navigate life and social connections moving forward. I am now aware that I need genuine and reciprocal connections to meet my social needs and prevent one-sided and emotionally draining dynamics, however this contradicts the norms set out by tall poppy syndrome in Australia. This has led me to the realisation that I need to discover and explore new environments that better align with who I am, thereby signifying that I should leave Australia when I graduate from university.

Leaving does not abandon my experiences here but rather honours my growth by carrying it forward into further exploration during my emerging adulthood. It reflects the idea of continuity within change, as my core needs and values remain continuous, but I am choosing to change my environment to better support them. This makes leaving Melbourne a meaningful act of aligning my external circumstances with my internal growth. Recognising this allows me to approach future development with greater awareness and intentionality, knowing that I can trust myself to support my growth and well-being, as I now understand that meaningful change comes from actively shaping my path rather than passively adjusting to my surroundings.

Overall, this reflection has helped me understand where I currently stand in Melbourne, how my perspective on connections has shifted during my development here while maintaining the same needs, and how I should proceed with life after graduating university. At the end of the day, my time in Australia has been a defining chapter, though I recognise that it is coming to an end.

References

Arnett, J. J. (2000). Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist, 55(5), 469–480. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066x.55.5.469

Hoffnung, M., Hoffnung, R. J., Seifert, K. L., Brooker, A., Ellis, S., Riggs, D., Warburton, W., & Warner, E. (2022). Lifespan Development (5th ed.). Wiley. https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unimelb/reader.action?docID=7099269

McAdams, D. P., & Olson, B. D. (2009). Personality Development: continuity and change over the life course. Annual Review of Psychology, 61(1), 517–542. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.093008.100507

O’Neill, M., Calder, A., & Allen, B. (2013). Tall Poppies: Bullying behaviors faced by Australian High-Performance School-Age athletes. Journal of School Violence, 13(2), 210–227. https://doi.org/10.1080/15388220.2013.846223

Peeters, B. (2004). Thou shalt not be a tall poppy: Describing an Australian communicative (and behavioral) norm. Intercultural Pragmatics, 1(1). https://doi.org/10.1515/iprg.2004.008